Creative Paralysis: Releasing the Beast

Not to be confused with Creative Constipation, Creative Paralysis is the condition in which a creative person has so much to say, they simply freeze up. Closed for business. Too many little ideas are ideating around in the noggin and it gets clogged. They start over compensating, trying to get it all out at once, and end up sounding like the Swedish Chef. All energy, no substance. giphy

Articulation of ideas is just as important as the ideas themselves. When you're creatively paralyzed, it's the hardest thing to do. So much to say and not enough words to say it. Too many different ideas that don't match with each other and you know it is going to be a hot mess when it all comes pouring out. I guess what I'm saying is, release. Release early and release often.

This is starting to sound like a masturbation metaphor. "Ya gotta cum regularly, or you'll get all backed up!" I think I heard that somewhere once. But I'm a lady, and I don't think it works that way for us. To be fair, I don't think it works that way for guys either, it's just a way for them to not feel guilty about touching themselves since there's this backwards sexual stigma in America. It's everywhere, but "shhhhhh! we don't talk about that!"

Anyway, release. What I am doing right now as you read this. You're welcome.

Grow up. I mean writing and you know it. Plus, how would I even know when you're reading this to time my - it doesn't matter. Moving on.

As you may or may not have noticed through this blog, (unless this is your first time, then please read chronologically. I'll wait.) I have a lot of feelings and opinions. And I think I'm pretty intelligent and occasionally funny, so I like to share those feelings and opinions via the written word in hopes that people will be entertained. Are you? Do you love it? Do you love me? Love me. Love me!

The problem is, as of late, so much crazy shit has been happening that I just don't know where to start. Every time I sat down to write about something, it would spiral out of control and make zero sense, like I was speaking gibberish. Now you understand the Swedish Chef simile? Full circle, baby. Full circle.

So what I'm gonna do now is let it all out systematically. If you don't care about my thoughts/opinions/feelings/love of cats, you may stop reading now. (Cats are not a part of this, just wanted to mention how much I love them.)

1. Prince I know it's been a while, but I'm still not over it. It's not that I think his death is any more important than any other death that has ever happened, it's just that his absence from the planet matters more in our social climate. Never before has there been such a strong, talented, independent, sexy AF, ambiguous AF, creative, transcendent, loved, beautiful, giving, open, black man on this planet. And maybe there never will be again. All we can do is revel in the fact that we were alive in the time of Prince. What a small section of history in the expanse of the world and we got to share it with him. If anyone wants to start Princeology with me, I'm open to it.

2. Trump Fucking just stop. Just stop it. There is no way this is real. South Park couldn't write a better story. I'm just waiting for the day he gets elected (because as much as we say it'll never happen, we said he wouldn't get the nomination either so...), stands up at the inauguration, and one of two things happens: He unzips his human suit to show he is, in fact, the Lizard King and we are now his humble servants or Ashton Kutcher in attempt to salvage his waning career jumps out and tells us all we've been Punk'd. Because please. I can't even talk about the issues because the biggest issue is who he fucking is as a person. So let's just all cut it out, okay? I mean, I guess he would be the first blond & tan president but you have to ask yourself, is it worth it?

3. The Creative Circus Because this blog is about my journey through portfolio school, I feel I should speak to the school and what my experience has been like. Amazing and fantastic.

4. Guns All this violence and hate in the world and especially the gun violence in America is fucked up. Bottom line. I don't care what you believe or where you come from it is never okay to kill another human being. Never. Not once. Not ever. Their life is not yours to take. It's just not. Present to me all the hypothetical situations you want I will always respond the same way: No, I would not kill Hitler if I could go back in time, No, I would not kill a man who was going to murder my family, No, I would not kill my mother so 1,000 people could live. Not that I think Hitler was cool or I don't love my family, or I want 1,000 people to die, but taking someone's life is wrong. End of story. So yes, gun control. Ammunition control. Ban hand guns and assault weapons, lets do all of those things. But even if we do all of that we still need to learn to live together in harmony which brings me to my last point, and it's a doozy...

5. Equality and Social Media It's not about agreeing with everyone. It's not about having the same ideas or experiences. It's about treating everyone everyone like a human being. I'm not religious, but that Jesus dude was on to something with the Golden Rule. Allow people their opinions because you want to be allowed yours. Allow people to speak their mind because you want to speak yours. Allow people to practice whatever religion they chose because you want to be able to practice yours. You see where I'm going with this?

Equality in humanity does not mean that everyone is the same. Equality means that everyone is different and that's okay. In fact, it's great. It makes our lives more interesting. It allows us to have unique experiences all over the world and discuss them and learn from each other. It allows perspectives to be broadened and hearts to be opened. All we have to do is listen to each other. Which includes social media, people. When terrible, awful, heartbreaking things happen in the world (most recently Orlando) it is not our job to jump on social media and tell other people how to feel. All we can do is express our thoughts, but we cannot speak for others.

What I mean is this: After any tragic or iconic, or sometimes both, event happened, I would see posts on FB and Twitter claiming "you don't understand [insert event here] if you are a [insert race, gender, sexual orientation here]" How do you know? No, really. How do you know that there isn't someone else out there that understands what you are feeling even though their experiences aren't the same as yours? I was especially put off when those events were Beyonce's Lemonade or Orlando, and the race/gender/sexual orientation was "white person" or "cisgender straight person," of which I am both.

Um... first of all, isn't much of Lemonade about Beyonce's struggle with Jay-Z's infidelity and finding her identity/place in American society as a black woman? I think I get that. Okay, not the black part, but for sure the woman part and definitely the relationship aspect. And as far as being a cisgender straight woman, all of that is bullshit anyway. Gender and sexuality are fluid. People are people. Just because I happen to like my lady parts and, for the most part, am attracted to men does not mean I don't have the capacity to understand what it means when a group of individuals are senselessly murdered because they love a certain way or present themselves a certain way. I am an intelligent, educated, cultured, opinionated, informed woman. Please do not tell me where my capacity for empathy begins and ends.

On a larger note, when you belong to a minority group, and you are preaching a platform of equality, isn't it a little backwards to straight up tell people they cannot be a part of the movement? Don't we (I say we because I am a woman, and do believe that is still a minority group and if you want to fight me about it I will verbally assault the shit out of you) actually need the empathy of the majority? Doesn't our advancement in society rest solely on the hope that the rich white men of America will see our plight and say, "wait a minute, that's not okay, let's do something about it?" Not in a patronizing way, but more of a "I have power to change something and I will use it for good" way. The fact that we even need anyone else to help us gain equality in the first place is disgusting, but that's exactly what we are working to correct. It's not just going to change over night. We have to be willing to put in the work and make sacrifices for future generations.

Think about it this way, if you had an amazing idea that would make the world a better place but no money to create it, you'd need an investor, correct? Sure, the investor might take all the credit and your name would get lost until years later when liberal colleges would create whole curriculums about you, but your idea would become real and ultimately make the world a better place. Greater good, people. Greater good. I don't know if I'm sounding insensitive or sheltered or especially white right now but basically what I'm trying to say is this: We can't shut those out that might be willing to help us even if they are from the group of people that is oppressing us. We must be open to empathetic support because the human capacity for empathy is the key to true equality.

Wow. Went into an opinion blackout for a moment there. I'm sure I didn't express anything quite the way I wanted to, but it's out there now. Do with it what you will.

Peace, Love & Love peace